100 Things about God

There is this fad list fourteen year olds write on My Space. "100 Things about Me." Okay. But if the list is about me, it might as well be about God. My notions of God. Ibn al-Arabi has made the point that no one worships anything other than their own soul's notion of God. After all God said in the famous Hadith Qudsi, "I am with My Servant's opinion of Me, so have a good opinion." We only ever worship our own opinion of God. As Ibn al-Arabi has said we will return to the God we worship as well. This idea frightens me when I think about Muslims who are overly fascinated with God's "justice" rather than His "compassion." I do not want to meet the Just on the Last Day. I do not want each and every atom of mine weighed. God protect me from that. God bring us all into the shade of the Throne.

So I offer up the following list in the spirit of having a good opinion. 100 Things about God (from my good opinion). Godwilling, I'll add to the list over the following days. Feel free to add your own, dispute mine, just have a good opinion.

1. Despite the assumptions of believers and non-believers to the contrary, God is not an asshole.

2. Despite the hopes of sheep everywhere, God is not particularly impressed with the excuse, "I was just following orders."

3. Despite the hopes of the spiritually and ethically lazy, God is not particularly impressed with the excuse, "But You are the all-Forgiving! I never thought You'd actually call me to account for any of this!"

4. Despite the hopes of petty self-righteous twirps everywhere, while one of God's names is "The Accounter," He is not "The Accountant."

5. Despite the hopes of the penis-privileged, God is not gendered male nor does He prefer men.

6. Despite the hopes of womb-privileged, God is not gendered female nor does She prefer women.

7. Fulfilling our hopes, God has never left us alone. God is with us wherever we are.

8.  God considers science to be a useful language for developing human understanding of the corporeal world.

9.  God knows geological core samples and transitional fossils are not a trick to test our faith.

10.  Although God is omniscient, He still wonders why human beings try to read revelation like high school science or history textbooks.  

11.  He knows why, but wondering seems the only appropriate response. 

12.  God is pretty sure flooding us again would simply confuse the already confused on the matter of secondary causes or corporeal cause and effect, so He is working with Global Warming this time.

(clearly I am going to add to this list as people irritate me on a day to day basis)