BDSM Islam?

Two terms that you'll almost never see juxtaposed: latex burqa. But I saw them in a blog by a woman who wears one on a regular basis. Assuming that this isn't a grand hoax, this is a woman who lives in Ireland, is in a sub/dom relationship with her husband, and wears restricting and enveloping garments made of latex 24/7. No mention is made of religious or cultural background, but the author is clearly educated, fluent in English, and has an active social life, although her world is filtered through a layer of latex and any restrictions that her husband (who she calls "Sir") may choose to impose.
I'm not calling attention to her blog or her life to evoke feelings of pity, disgust, superiority, or any other emotion that those who call attention to veiled women often seek to provoke in their audiences. What I'd like to point out is that this couple is expressing ordinary desires, albeit in an unusual way. Who hasn't desired privacy, or felt a thrill when control is either surrendered or taken? Calgon's slogan of "Calgon,take me away!" wouldn't have been nearly as alluring had it been worded, "Calgon, I'd like to accompany you on a relaxing mental journey, the destination of which we will negotiate on an equal basis." We love surprise parties, stolen kisses, the Tickle Monster, and other ways in which we dominate and are dominated by one another- if only for a moment.
So, what does this have to do with Islam? At heart, not much. But combine source text excerpts that seem to support patriarchy with heavily patriarchal societies, and you get a domination of women with secular and sacred elements, and justifications for same that sometimes comes more from folk psychology than scripture. I've heard Muslim women and men speak quite seriously of the privacy veiling provides, and the security felt in veiling and male dominance. I'm not doubting the sincerity of these sentiments- to the contrary, privacy and security are universally desired. But the difference between the Latex Lady's life and the life of a Muslim woman is essential: the difference of free choice.
Some Muslim women are dominated because of a combination of law, religion, and culture- the option to not be a "good Muslim woman" is not a safe or lawful one in some places. Some other Muslim women are dominated mainly by religion and culture- the options are often be the "good Muslim woman" or an outsider, which can make life difficult for a Muslim woman socially. These forms of domination differ from Latex Lady's because Latex Lady can walk away or refuse with no fear of reprisal- many Muslim women lack that freedom.
Where are the "safe words" for Muslim women? When is it OK to say no to the domination, to chuck the burqa and breathe for a moment? When can a Muslim woman resist or evade the violence and control? Every form of domination has its safety valve- where is ours? Can Muslim women say Audhu' Billah and call an end to the 14 centuries of the sub/dom relationship with men?