Promoted to the front page.
What goes through a person's head when they get the urge to take Shahada? Do they feel slightly dizzy, maybe stoned, or worse, drunk? What is that desire like to join a tribe, a group of people who don't want the responsibility of seeing to it that you make through boot camp?
It goes a little something like this. Take Shahada, and then…
(dial tone, crickets...)
You go home feeling high, like you have taken a trip somewhere. You feel good, just good. Capital.
But as weeks wear on you start to feel a bit lost. Depending on how old you are when you are moved to become a part of Islam, you may not have any compatriots at all. You may end up alone, sitting, and wondering, "Who is going to teach me to pray?" The answer is, nobody, and probably everybody... but you'll have to wait and see.
The other problemis your old life awaits you each time you exit the masjid. Unlike everyone else, you still have one foot in the dunya. You still have that darned boyfriend who won't stop calling even though you told him, "Ise celibate now!"
Your mother is throwing a hissy fit because she thinks you have lost your mind to become an "A-rab", as she pronounces it. Your siblings just look at you sideways and suck their teeth, a sound that can make a grown man cry. Your Christians friends treat you like you are the anti Christ. They keep calling you, but they don't say "God Bless you."
You miss it, you need to hear it, but you can't say anything to them, because you chose to jump ship. And then there is the Jesus factor. It's a little-known or studied effect of the conversion from Christianity to either of the other two monotheistic faiths. Jesus longing creeps up during prayer time, and when you stub your toe, and when someone says something so asinine you have to say it, "Jeeesus".
You begin to realize that the Shahada doesn't exorcise the old stuff away and it doesn't send someone to your address to get rid of all the old baggage. But everyone at the mosque assumes that once you become - ta da! MUSLIM - you have no past. Sorry, but yes you do. For a convert, straightening that past out so it doesn't rear its ugly head each time you gather with your pious, pure masjid mates is a hard job.
In Judaism they have certain criteria for anyone who wants to join their ranks. Yes, they make you take a test. You aren't welcome if you have a history of mental health issues, and they make you ask three times before you are accepted into the tribe. Once, twice, thrice....you might get in.
In Islam, all come, all welcome, but that's it, you are on your own. A Jewish convert must study with a Rabbi, learn Hebrew, and if you're a woman, you must learn how to run a Kosher home and how to use the Mikvah. Muslim women must master the flower pot, (which, when I saw it for the first time I thought..."they want me to water what?")
It seems like the most daunting part of becoming Muslim is the social landscape, fraught with possible disasters. You see a male friend you've known for years, you go to him to speak after Khutba and dozens of eyes follow your every step. Oh and you smiled, so you're really are in trouble now. He touched your arm in leaving. OMG someone get the stones out. We got a woman here needs a good whamping to put her back in her place.
Okay, so, all this was said to say, "Be kind to converts." It may take years, not days or months, for the poor soul to be properly Islamicized. But a sign should be worn at all times, "Make way for the convert still in training. Liable to do stupid things"
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Wow- more drama than a Broadway play. I think I avoided most of that by virtue of having Muslim family and by not being raised as Christian, but the "Muslim" (salafi) attitude toward grieving still seems cavalier to me. I'll grieve for my parents as long as is needed, and the thought that they warrant less mourning time than a husband still gives me pause. I may sit shiva for my mother, and anyone who whines about it can get stuffed.
LOL I was taught to pray by F.M. quickly one evening, but I still don't have it down 'correctly'. I come to God from my heart telling me to witness ("shahada") the Witnessing (ash-shahaadah) - there is no god but God & Muhammad his messenger - and yet all I ever get from Muslims in the flesh is THOU'RT NOT WORTHY.
It's like, before you convert, everyone is tripping over themselves to show you how good it is. But it's selfish - all they care about is some kind of magic karma points you supposedly get for muslimating someone. And now you are a Muslim, the Iron Curtain - or, rather, Lead Blanket - of COMMUNITY STANDARDS comes down.
They know how a Muslim should act, and you ain't it, so get ready for scorn, derision, arrogance and an utter lack of willingness to help.
You know I went to the office of the local mosque, professed a desire to witness and to learn to pray and wudhu properly.
You know what they did? They told me to go to the women's class.
... so I went to the women's class. There, they spent all this time lecturing us on how women are unclean and inferior. Politely, but firmly. Did they watch any of us witness the shahaadah? Did they respond to request to teach us the application of wudhu and movements of prayer?
No. They lectured us on how women must cover everything but *this* and *this*, they went all "let's talk about children and marriage", they did everything but teach you the very first steps a convert should learn: how to wash and pray. How and where to study Qur'an. The importance of fellowship for new believers. Even a discussion of the rules of halaal would have been somewhat useful.
Browbeating me about issues of fiqh was not effective. I was ready to quit. After all, I am welcome and familiar with Judaism, another monotheistic faith that doesn't deify Jesus, and there are actual courses you can take that teach you the basics.
As it is, my Friday prayer has been delimited to lighting a Shabbos candle in an attempt to make some kind of recognisable ritual prayer with other human beings. There is no mosque in range I can pray at - I was (again, politely) disinvited from the local mosque for questioning the Rules of Islam being shoved down my throat before they even had taught me to pray.
Ali spared a man because he recited the shahaadah before he was about to be cut in two by Ol' Spinebreaker.* He said that he couldn't judge what was in the man's heart. Have we learned nothing?
*Ol' Spinebreaker is the approximate English translation of Zulfiqar (Dhuu l-Fiqaar), the infamous double-bladed sword of Ali. In true World of Warcraft fashion, he was awarded it by Muhammad from its original owner, a slain jahil general.
Cypress, it's your own fault we didn't have more salah lessons- if you weren't so delightful to just sit and chat with, and if you didn't make such yummy coffee, I would have spent more time teaching.
Books and websites that may help:
There are a lot of really great books that can help you as a new convert if your local masjid is not helpful. There is a difference between what is practiced by Muslims due to culture and what is practiced because it was revealed by Mohamed in the Qu'ran. Until you spend time learning from knowledgeable sources, you won't know what people are teaching you: customs or truth. The women who only want to talk about what parts of your body to cover are only looking at one leaf of one tree and missing the entire forest. Your job on Earth is to become the best person that you can be: to improve your soul. The Qu'ran and the 5 Pillars of Islam are the authoritative guide and the practices that you have chosen to follow by becoming Muslim. These ladies are either ignorant of or have chosen to ignore the parts of the Qur'an that state that men and women are individually responsible for their own salvation and that it is imperative for every Muslim to become as educated as possible about their religion and about the world around them.
I am only a recent convert, but I will give you a list of books that I have read either partially or in full and some helpful websites. I encourage you to look at books in an Islamic bookstore or on the internet and buy those that appear to be the most helpful. When you have questions, you should ask the Imam at your local masjid. If he cannot find the time to answer you, then I would try some of the Islamic websites or Islamic scholars at a local university. If you find a professor of Islamic studies at a university far away from you, you can find out his/her email on the university website and ask your question.
Websites:
http://www.scholarofthehouse.org/index.html
http://www.sunnipath.com/
http://www.unc.edu/~cernst/resources.htm
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/index.php?
http://www.ijtihad.org/
---I am sure there are many more. My advice is to look for websites that are open to questions and that convey a spirit of 'ijtihad' rather than dogma.
Books:
"Elementary Teachings of Islam" by Muhammad Abdul Aleem Siddiqui [this book includes how to say the obligatory prayers with transliterations of the Arabic in the English alphabet]
"The Holy Qur'an with English Translation and Commentary" by Maulana Muhammad Ali
"What is Islam" Compiled by Research Division Darussalam
"A Manual of Hadith" by Maulana Muhammad Ali
"Qur'an and Woman - Rereading the Sacred Text from a Woman's Perspective" by Amina Wadud
"Even Angels Ask - A Journey to Islam in America" by Jeffrey Lang
"Standing Alone - An American Woman's Struggle for the Soul of Islam" by Asra Q. Nomani
Keep praying and asking God for guidance!
If you take 1 step towards him, he will take 10 steps towards you!
For those living in Atlanta:
American Islamic Fellowship has Friday evening meetings twice a month:
http://www.americanislamicfellowship.com/
Hey I am jealous I never have anyone to "chat" with. Oh well I guess its time to put on my shoes and go Mosque hopping......
Alas, Lailah, I can't stop by and chat with Cypress as much as I used to. Phooey. That said, knowing her makes encountering any mosque-based craziness a bit more bearable.
Cypress I am impressed you light Shabbos candles? I used to enjoy, no love Fridays and lighting candles with my then boyfriend....o well, old life, all gone now. Well
Shabbot Shalom Cypress. I had my entire Shabbos thing down pat, go home Friday afternoon, clean, cook, and set the table with a loaf of Challah and a kiddush cup a vase of flowers. Or go to friends, some really frum but funky Berzerkely types. Saturday Synagogue all day, and then another meal. And then separate the sacred from the non sacred with lighting another fire....Whew yeah. I have to say there wasn't as much of the backbiting and wierd hateful behavior there. Occasionally you would get a guy who was a bit out of order but the RAbbi would take them aside. And the big difference is most of the Rabbi's I knew had excellent educations not just yeshiva but Cornell, Harvard, etc. and knew how to counsel people, etc. A far cry from masjids. But then again I chose Islam over that. That's entirely different story.
The community of Judaism, particularly in urban centres like Boston ("more Jews than in Israel"), is wonderful. The modernist movement in Judaism began in the late 1800s and these days, you can reach out anywhere and find women rabbis (the actual Aramaic feminine of *rabbi* is not used, because it's unpronounceable - rbrvati), women in the minhaaj of wearing kippot (kufis), whole magazines like Lilith and others for modernist Jews, feminist Jews. Education is once again open and intellectual (the Wahhabis of Judaism remain, regrettably).
I hope we are the vanguard of modernism in Islam: it is the anti-anticolonialist movement, the movement that pushes Islam off the rails of the postcolonial-anticolonial us-them dichotomy, that restores a widespread love of the intellectual life to Islam. These days, the community is full of engineers and doctors, but the idea of intellectual discussions is verboten. It's "follow the leader" Islam.
I don't want "follow the leader" Islam. If I wanted that, I'd be Catholic.
I thought the Shia's were the islamic equivalent of Catholics? I only recall a few Jewish women wearing Kippot, but it certainly was frowned upon by most Jews not just the ultra orthodox. It is strictly forbidden for a woman to wear a mans clothes. Frankly the informal structure of the Synagogue was not unfamiliar, the Masjid is very similar. I note that jewish women, even when very frum, are not cowed and silent in the home or in the synagogues. Yes, basically Europeans ruined Islam to translate. But Americans can fix it. I think the next big movement in Islam will be American style of Islam coming to the forefront. Much like conservative Judaism, which allows a person too be as frum as they want or as reform as they want. It's a good middle ground for practicing Jews who aren't ready for the structure of Chasidism. Islam is not even follow the leader, there is no leader. Everyone is an expert, everyone tells everyone else what to do. Jews have the Midrash, and the Shulcan Aruch, Jews have a history of "learning" that Islam used to have but lost. Yes, I long for a time when I can sit and "learn" at the feet of a Rabbi /Imam(teacher) who is wise and not misogynst. I agree with separation of men and women in prayer, I think women should cover in prayer, and I believe in keeping a home that is devoted to worship. But I cannot embrace a religion to my heart that destroys and spreads confusion and hate.
Actually, it is quite common for women to wear tzitzitim and even kippot: they don't want to wear a big ol' hat (or a wig) when praying, so they wear kippot.
I'm not sure that I'd define any religion as one that "destroys and spreads confusion and hate". Those are the actions of individuals.
"I'm not sure that I'd define any religion as one that "destroys and spreads confusion and hate". Those are the actions of individuals."
Amin-beautifully said
I agree individuals do the hating but they use religion as a vehicle.
You know, like, as opposed to how people use Islam. Or Christianity. Or any other faith.
... wait, what?