The Courage to Cuddle.

Abu Salmah related that Abu Hurayrah said,"The Prophet of Allah kissed Hasan ibn 'Ali while Aqra' ibn Habis was sitting nearby. Aqra' said, 'I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.' The Prophet looked at him and said, 'Those who show no mercy will be shown no mercy.'"
Hadith - Bukhari (#91) and Muslim

I never thought I'd be chastised for giving Schenectady the best of myself, but here I am, with him in his Bjorn, hiding out from relatives and friends of relatives with an odd desire to hear Schenectady shriek for mercy. For mercy is what he needs when I've put him down and he can't cope, when he's tired and can't settle down alone, when he is out of sorts for some reason that we can't pinpoint.

Schenectady's quite particular about being snuggled, rocked, bounced, and generally held as much as possible. The worst moments of his day are when I shower, as I can't quite devise a way to hold the wee bugger while I wash my hair. I wonder if one of the best moments of his day are when I return and promptly pick him up for make-up cuddling, kissing, and a comfort nursing session to top it off. The relief on his face is as plain as the distress he's in while I'm away- the tears he's recently acquired only appear when I must leave him.

I've been told that such attention is unneeded, that Schenectady must learn that I'm only there to meet some of his needs, some of the time. That meeting all his needs all the time will result in a child who feels entitled to parental attention, and that I ought to busy myself somehow while he screams in distress. My mercy should be a strictly rationed commodity, lest he think himself worthy of that mercy simply for being my son.

Nursing is yet another surprisingly controversial choice. There's no debating the fact that human milk is the perfect food for human infants, but choosing to give Schenectady this perfect food has been seen as something best discarded as soon as possible. If human milk were manufactured and sold, I'd be branded as neglectful if I didn't provide it for Schenectady, much as the bottle warmers, diaper wipe warmers and deluxe strollers were touted as absolutely essential to parenthood. Yet week after week, I'm asked when Schenectady will start eating rice cereal, as that could somehow top the milk Allah made for Schenectady, and may carry a hint of the barbecued chicken I just had. Bland rice cereal vs. BBQ-flavored Mamalove Joyjuice- you call that a contest?

What sort of world do we live in, that a mother's love is deemed a frivolity ,but a diaper wipe warmer, a necessity? That the world's best food for a baby could be deemed inferior to bland purees can only be considered a sign of the world gone mad. Can we still wonder why humans are capable of hideous acts of cruelty toward one another, when mercy toward our most vulnerable and precious ones is considered at best passe, and at worst a form of neglect?

Now, if you'll pardon me, I've got to go be outdated again- Schenectady's thoroughly earning his nickname of Milk Monster.