Faith and Bills

I´ve been through some financial difficulties this year. And it got me thinking.

Is prosperity truly bounty of Allah for just being good and praying or is it divine help to the one who truly struggles and tries to get out into the fresh air of the middle class?

Perhaps i have phrased my question wrong.

I know for sure that, just like it says in the Qurán, people that find themselves in difficulty of any kind turn to God in repentence. I am guilty of that myself.

But i wonder sometimes which part of my ´success´ is divine help and which part of it is my own effort.

This is the century of rising oil prices that are reflected in my monthly bill. I feel it in my grocery bill too.

So i start praying: Please God, help me become independent, please God, help me become self sufficient.

And things go right. But i know that it´s not magic. I know that they go right because i bothered to get up early and go to work. I bothered to send out CV´s and get more classes. I am in some difficulties now because i let things slide and didn´t pay some bills on time. That´s not me being a bad Muslim. That´s me being careless and immature.

And i don´t know how all that will reflect on me on the day of Judgement. How can i relate the two?

Do i help the needy? Not directly. I help the students that need to learn English. I teach it to them. For money. Does that count as charity to be recorded in the book of deeds or is the money in itself a reward? I smile at my students. I am kind to them. Is that recorded?

I have an interest bearing savings account. I get a small monthly percentage. The interest that i earn compensates for the inflation in the country so because of that rate i have more or less (perhaps a little less) the same purchasing power for any given amount.

Is that something that´s gonna send me to hell?

Islam says it´s your deeds and intentions that matter. But that´s so generic. How do i apply it to daily life?

I guess this blog is a sort of prayer for answers. Please God, let someone read it and give me one.

Amen