Satire: The American Convert Insurgency

This post is satire. This post is satire. This post is satire.

(Please read with the voice of Jeremy Irons in Die Hard 2)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This is a communique from the Western Turncoats Front for Converts (aka , WTF-Converts). Many Muslim immigrants worship insurgents and make excuses for terrorists who target our nation. It is high time we turn the tables, is it not? For too long, Western converts to the great Islamic religion have been shunned for not adapting themselves as clients of the Master Race of Islam, or whatever ethnicity of the person who showed them how to be Muslim. Because of this, and the ignoring of our communal and familial interest, indeed the denial of our familes as kafirs and our communities as  the immigrants' enemy, we are the oppressed minority of the American Ummah."

"Because our demands have not been met and in view of the successes of the Muslims over therehave had with terrorism and insurgencies, we announce the launch of our very own insurgency against the instruments of our oppression. The noble sisters and brothers (notice, as Americans, we put the women first) who have taken up this struggle for justice have determined that sabotage against the immigrant infrastructure is the only way to be heard."

"Therefore, be aware when you think you are eating halal food; we have stockpiled large supplies of Kosher salt and our agents have already begun replacing Zabiha meat in the stores with meat slaughtered by Christians and Jews. Be aware that we shall corrupt your sons and daughters and be happy for them when they assimilate. To this end, our agents have determined to establish basketball among the Muslim youth and help them forget the disgusting corruption of that vile sport, soccer (from which we take refuge in God)."

"We also raise our voices against the traitorous government which has permitted the settlements of our lands by colonies of Arabic and Urdu speakers. The once fair city of Detroit is nothing more than a colony of Lebanon while Lodi, CA has become a mere extension of Lahore. The colonists deny our primacy and denigrate our heritage even though it is just as Islamic as thiers."

"Our next communique will be to detail our reasonings after our first spectaular victory of the convert insrurgency."

Viva La Revolucion!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remember, this post was satire, I think... but isn't it ironic that the rhetoric, logic (or lack of it) and excuses some immigrant Muslims make can be turned round and used against them? I think so.